"For I hate divorce," says the Lord. (Malachi 2:16)

Marriage is a three party agreement , not two. God , Man & Wife

My dear friend: This scriptural insight into the subject of divorce is provided in order to advise one considering seeking a divorce (or one encouraging another to divorce) to clearly understand what God says in His Word about this very serious sin. Divorce leads to adultery and thou shalt not commit adultery. While the secular divorce process is simple in most states, it is regarded by God as rebellion and He will exact a punishment. Although He is a forgiving God, we must remember that forgiveness does not preclude punishment , as anyone in jail will tell you. Divorce is the supreme act of selfishness and may look easy , but after the divorce, since the initiator has now permitted Satan to get his hooks in (you will have given him rights through the sin of divorce), he will spring the trap door and you will indeed reap what you have sown.

Please, whatever you do, do not take counsel from nonbelievers or those without full knowledge of God's Word. Especially do not listen to family, well-meaning friends, or a new love whose self-interest is obvious. You can be sure that you, and especially your ungodly advisors, will ultimately pay a serious penalty. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:7-8) Do not be deceived. God meant what He said in His Word. Please get counseling from a Christian counselor. Although I have no affiliation with any counseling group, I heartily recommend Marriage Ministries International ( MMI ). Their phone in Denver is ( 303 ) 730 3333. MMI has marriage seminars in most major cities and is simply the best at what they do---saving marriages and defeating Satan.

God says leave and cleave. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. (Matthew 19:5-6) Forsaking all others. Leave the influence of your old friends, your family and cleave to your mate. The past should be a memory; you are now one in the flesh. Of course, you still love your family and friends who are saved, but you now have a new life together without old influences. Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Satan, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) The two of you have made a life long unbreakable three party covenant with the Creator of the universe . Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. "For I hate divorce," says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the Lord of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously. (Malachi 2: 14 & 16) My dear friend, do you really want to break the covenant you made with God ! While there can be forgiveness , please understand that more than ninety percent of today's divorces are not justifiable in God's eyes and you tempt God by a premeditated frivolous divorce. Page 59 of " Marriage , Covenant or Contract? " by Craig Hill says "The primary issue in the question of divorce and remarriage ( to someone else ) for Christians is not personal happiness , but covenant breaking. The primary issue in covenant breaking is your destruction of the image and defamation of the character of God in the sight of others ". Dear friend , please do not get divorced , but please do get help---get counseling, but only from godly Christians who know the Word. Please ask yourself ," am I pleasing YAHWEH/ GOD , or myself ?"

Support for the devastated spouse , the one in this senseless pain , may be found from Family Foundations International (FFI) phone (303) 797 1139 , Rejoice Ministries , phone (954) 941 6508, or Covenant Keepers , phone (918)748 0365. I suggest both partners read Help! My Spouse Wants Out by Craig Hill ($5.00) available from FFI or Covenant Keepers, Thoughts On Restoring A Marriage ($5.00) available from Rejoice Ministries, Healing Through Deliverance, vol.2 by Peter Horrobin ($15.00) available from most Christian bookstores by special order and Exposing Satan's Devices by Pastor Miller ($5.00) available from Christ Unlimited Ministries on the Internet at www.bible.com.

The following scriptures should be considered when contemplating a divorce (the term man may be substituted for woman, husband for wife and adulterer for adulteress as appropriate) :

Adultery

You shall not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14) Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for all fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4) For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. (Romans 7:2) So then if while her husband is living, she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress, though she is joined to another man. (Romans 7:3) You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (James 4:4) For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses. (2 Timothy 3:6)---Note: The one who undermines someone's faith in order to gain sexual advantage in an attempt to justify adultery , will experience the mighty wrath of God. A Christian truly in Christ ,can no longer behave as she or he did before. ( 2 Cor 5:17 ) And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her, and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery" (Mark 10:10-11)---Note: This is also true if the initiator has any sexual contact with one other than his/her mate. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding ( Prov 9:10).

Coveting

You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor. (Exodus 20:17---Note: This applies to a father, a mother or a friend. Once you have been married you now belong only to your mate as you are one flesh. Therefore if, for example, a wife or husband moves back into his/her parent's house and the parent encourages (and does not discourage) divorce, then the parent is coveting another's wife or husband and therefore approving of sin. We are all required to behave as Christ and to discourage the sin of divorce and adultery, lest we open up ourselves to the wrath of God. But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God. (Romans 2:5) The parent may believe he/she is helping his/her son or daughter , but in truth they are promoting and are equally guilty in the sin of divorce and adultery, as is clear from the following scripture ). And, although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. (Romans 1:32) God is speaking of sin in this passage; both divorce and adultery are sins. By virtue of accepting the adult child back under their roof , the parent has accepted the full spiritual responsibility for the adult child. The adult child has therefore put themselves under their parents spiritual authority , which forces the parent to be totally responsible for the adult child's actions in the eyes of God and law. The parent has therefore now accepted the responsibility and is accountable to God for the actions of the adult child.

One Flesh

For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. (Matthew 19:5-6) Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. (Matthew 19:8)

Encouragers Guilt

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness. (Romans 1:18) Although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. (Romans 1:32)

Restoration Required By God

Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, 'The two will become one flesh'. (1 Corinthians 6:16 )--Note: God and Satan see intercourse as the consummation of a marriage; Satan therefore regards adultery as his right of entry into the one committing adultery. But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) ---Note: the wife or husband must remain pure and chaste and totally unadulterated or else go back to their mate. There is to be no sex outside the marital relationship. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding (Prov 9:10 ). ( Ps 111:10; Prov 1:7 )

If after you have accpted Yahshua/Jesus , you go on doing the adulteress things they did in Sodom and Gomorra , you can expect the wrath of God (Heb 10 :26).

HEB 10:26 ¶ For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,

Punishment

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. (2 Corinthians 5:10) Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14) Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:8)

Marital Responsibility

Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. (Ephesians 21-23,25)

Deception

See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. (Colossians 2:8) Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is on account of these things that the wrath of God will come. (Colossians 3:5-6)

Loss of Salvation; Eternity in Hell

Take care, brethren, lest there should be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart, in falling away from the living God. (Hebrews 3:12) For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God, and put Him to open shame. (Hebrews 6:4-6) How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? (Hebrews 10:29) For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king. (1 Samuel 15:23)---Note: Beware---the sin of rebellion/divorce could cause a saved Christian to voluntarily forfeit his/her salvation. Note: Salvation is a ticket having two parts, acceptance and repentance. Without both parts one will not enter heaven. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit. (John 15:2, Matthew 26:24, Romans 11:22, 2 Peter 2:20-22, 2 John 1:8, Revelation 3:5)

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9)---

Temptation Leading To Sin

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. (James 1:14-15) For He who said, 'Do not commit adultery,' so said, 'Do not commit murder.' Now if you do not commit adultery, but do commit murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. (James 2:11---Note: Murder and adultery are often compared equally as both are often premeditated, conspired with and encouraged by others.)

Children

Through the selfishness of divorced parents, Satan has effectively set up the next generation to experience the same, if not worse, trauma and devastation in their own lives and marriages. Marriage is to be an example of God in the world and Satan has effectively destroyed it through the permissiveness of worldly divorce, thus destroying the family unit and the children's faith in God . Ultimately therefore, generation after generation, through the children of divorced parents, the cycle continues.

Most saints devastated by the pain of divorce suffer with the same problem, getting Jesus in front of the circumstances and not allowing the circumstances to be in front of Jesus. Easier said than done. Yet, one who continues to lay the problem at the feet of Jesus will succeed in removing this burden from his/her own heart. Prayer is your most powerful tool. Pray out loud and confess God's Word by personalizing It with the appropriate names. (pray Psalm 1; Ephesians 1:16-20; Ephesians 3:14-21 and others ) and daily put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6). Confess success. Pray for God to convict your spouse of his/her sin. Cry out to God / YAHWEH.

Nearly everyone is afflicted in some way by Satan's demons and often seriously. In these cases, deliverance from the demons is necessary, but not always easy. Typically the problem is to convince someone they need deliverance. If however , you can get them to read " Healing Through Deliverance " they will understand it is only a stigma if they do not get delivered . It is like any other illness , get it healed( See Eph. 6 ). Please , strongly consider reading Healing Through Deliverance #2.

There are, of course, extenuating circumstances in some marriages. Drugs, alcohol, anger, abuse and ignorance of God's Word are among them. Ninety percent can, however, be corrected through deliverance and a thorough understanding of God's Word. For those seemingly impossible situations, only godly counsel can guide you, but even then, deliverance is probably the answer. God can and does perform miracles. God indeed answers prayer---but always remember---in His perfect time. And finally , please understand that your marriage promise and responsibility was and is first to God and secondly to your spouse. Divorce is the murder of a marriage covenant with God , and it is God’s heart that you break. Communicate with your mate , the one you loved and married before God , and the one you promised God to love until death. Please , honor your commitment to God , get help , but do not allow Satan to succeed in destroying another marriage and perhaps you , through the inevitable bitterness . Stick with the one who brung you to the dance !

All Scripture from the NASB
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© 1997

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